he's like "i have a pokemon who's going to help you... to climb these cliffs."
uh, imagine my surprise when, instead of a pokemon, in walks... in WALKS. on two legs, bipedal. bipedally walks. a full-fledged mean girl bully popstar, a cheerleader, with a side ponytail and a fresh fuckin' mani.
she walks up to me, and i'm like "who is this adult woman? like, this entrepreneur? this, like, cheerleader, this popstar, who is she? where's the pokemon? is- is she behind the model?" she's- like- walks up to us, like she's joining the conversation of adults, like she's an a- this is just, like, an adult woman!
sneasler, is her name. she's standing there, she, like, crosses her arms, she, like, taps her foot, she looks me up and down, i'm like, "okay, she's judging me. like, i get it, i'm... ugly, i'm not you, i'm never gonna be you,
i thought i was gonna get a helper pokemon, like, but this isn't helping anything, this is... actually, you're bullying me." she's bullying me, okay, at this point? she's bullying me,
and they're like "she's gonna help you, just play the flute for her, so that she can like, open her heart to you," right? so i play the flute? y'all. she fucking laughs at you. she laughed at me, right? like, she laughs at us? sneasler LAUGHS at us, that's not, like, a thing that pokemon do. wyrdeer didn't laugh at me. ursaluna didn't fuckin' laugh at me.
this BITCH. this B-I-T-C-H. laaaaughs at meeee, i didn't know pokemon were capable of laughing at people but she laughed in my face- i have never been more humiliated in my life. nothing can ever undo the- the, like, hit my pride took. the humiliation of that moment. you know, i knew she was gonna hate it, and she did! she did. she hated every minute of it. she laughed at me. she laughed at me like i'm a lowly little worm, and it's just like, i know you're prettier than me-
she has more friends than me, she's more successful than me, as if i- i even have any pride left, for which to be chipped away at, they tell me to climb into her backpack. they tell me to climb into a basket, so that she can carry me, up the w- up the walls.
so now i'm in the backpack of a cheerleader, and it's like, i paid $60 for this game i don't deserve it. i don't deserve to be humiliated like this. she's, like, climbing up trees and shit like edward cullen. you can see my stupid little eyes in that- on her bag, she's like "hang on tight spider monkey," and i'm just like... there for the ride, i guess? and i- i don't know why she's doing any of it, but it's not for me, you know? it's go- it's gotta be some kind of like self-serving thing for her? i don't trust her. and yet i love her? i would follow her to the ends of the earth? and yet i would love to slap the shit out of her?
she's just not what i expected from this game. at all.